Have you ever felt that, in addition to being a professional, homemaker and mom, you are also your husband’s bedside psychologist? If you spend your time deciphering his silences, scheduling his medical appointments and managing his emotions because he “doesn’t know how”, let us tell you that you are a victim of Mankeeping.
In a revealing episode of ¿Y tú QuéOnnda, a stellar production of Nueva Network and QuéOnnda, our beloved hosts Jimena Aguilar, Arely Inzunza and Karina Zambrano dotted the i’s and crossed the t’s regarding this phenomenon that is bringing women to the brink of collapse.
What is Mankeeping?
The term combines man (man) and keeping (keeping/sustaining).
It is not a matter of supporting him financially, but of supporting him emotionally in the face of his lack of support networks.
While we have the “therapeutic coffee” with our girlfriends, many men suffer a “friendship recession”: they talk about soccer or carnitas asadas, but are incapable of saying to a compadre: “I feel bad”.
“We women have evolved on a psychological level, we have devoted ourselves to healing and therapy… but the men have not. We are looking for men who do not yet exist,” reflected Arely Inzunza during the talk.
The weight of the “Mental Load
The trajectory of our female drivers came to light when analyzing shocking figures: in Mexico, women dedicate an average of 40 hours a week to caregiving, compared to only 16 for men.
But Mankeeping goes beyond the physical work; it is the mental workload.
It is being the “living agenda”, remembering their family’s birthdays and, above all, acting as emotional contenders for adults who do not know how to manage themselves.
How to break the cycle? Grip and Release
Jimena Aguilar and Karina Zambrano agreed that the solution is a two-way challenge: men must take responsibility and women must let go of control.
For them: Let them do it their way (even if the kids go combined as a safe or the egg gets salty).
For them: Create real support networks with other men where vulnerability is not synonymous with weakness, but with maturity.
This episode is not an attack, it is an invitation to build more balanced marriages where no one has to be the other’s therapist in order to survive.
The episode is now available on QuéOnnda TV’s YouTube channel, where you can also listen to other titles promoted by QuéOnnda and Nueva Network, such as Los Jefes Deportes.
Filed under: What is Mankeeping?
